Princess of China
by ruziaNinja
Summary: Things are better left unsaid but it only gets worst through time...
1. Sleepless Night

[RN: Hello~! I need to drop off a few things before I get this started...

**Disclaimer:** Characters are copyright to Hidekaz Himaruya, but the storyline and writing are copyright to me. You may share the link to my blog or blog post, but you may not repost my writings without my permission.]

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><p><em>Drown yourself in guilt <em>

_drown drown_

_Fill up your lungs _

_until no more._

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><p>"<em>No...please. Stop." I started to panic as soon as he brought over his kanata with maniacal glare plastered on his face. <em>

"_Nei. Bye-bye nii-san," he whispered with a smile. _

_I immediately turned around to make a run for it but it was too late..._

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><p>"STOP ARU!" I tried to regain my breath as cold sweat ran down my face.<p>

"Yao-Yao? What's wrong?" Small violet eyes peeked from under the covers.

"AIYA!" I fell off the bed hitting my butt pretty hard. I rubbed it as I tried to get up. "I-Ivan?" I called over to the small child as it popped out of the bed covers. "What are you doing here?"

"You invited me over da," he tilted his head. I got lost in this child's adorableness. Is it a sin to be so darn cute aru? The moon seemed to be a spotlight on him. He may seem small but his features reflect as strong willed but his eyes said something else. It seemed lonely and cold. Those same precious violet eyes could be so mesmerizing, they always caught my attention. Without a word, I climbed back to bed curled up. I was trying to recall when I invited Ivan over and my strange dream/vision until he spoke.

"Nightmares, da?" He whispered looking up at my hanged lanterns. I looked up to him, without a word. He scooched closer to me, hugging my face. I couldn't help but hug him. He was half my height but he was growing fast ever since I found him.

"I have them often. They don't bother me anymore but I found a way to make them go away..." he spoke as he were telling a secret.

"How, aru?"

"By being with the one who makes you smile," he said with warmth in his voice. I couldn't help but smile at the thought of having a child comfort me to sleep. It temporally brought an end to my "nightmares." I wasn't sure what they meant but this has continued for several nights now. Having my brothers, my family betray me was a nightmare I didn't want them to become reality. Though there are many reasons for them to do so, I wasn't ready to bring up the truth yet. It was too risky. My thoughts were calmed down by Ivan's smoothing voice. He had the most innocent voice, it seemed I had an angel in my room. I began to close my eyes. My guilt slowly began to drift away.

_If I told you the truth, would you still be my side? _

_Or would you betray and take advantage of me...? _

_Somethings are better left unsaid. _

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><p>China: Ah yes, I remember when Ivan was a child. Kawaii aru~! -daydreaming-<p>

Russia: Am I not cute now? (;J;)

China: Um, yes but compared but not compared as when you were a-

Russia: -teary eyed-

China: Aiya! Y-you're still cute, ok aru?

RN: -sighs- Better stop before anyone gets butthurt. Anyway, arigato for reading. Please review and all that good stuff, they make my day. QwQ


	2. Awakend Nightmare

[RN: Hello~! I need to drop off a few things before I get this started...

To reviewer l : Yes~! You got that right about the title c: I like to listen to Coldplay and Ludovico Einaudi when writing fics.

Sorry for the late update. I have most of the story written down but it's the tpying that holds me back at times. I hope you stay with me and enjoy. c':

BTW: I've made a drawing of ch.1. I will post it up on my tumblr once my scanner stops acting up :I

**Disclaimer:** Characters are copyright to Hidekaz Himaruya, but the storyline and writing are copyright to me. You may share the link to my blog or blog post, but you may not repost my writings without my permission.]

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><p>"<em>Bye-bye nii-san..." <em>

I gasp for air as the nightmare kept repeating itself in my head. I looked around, there was a Russian child in my bedroom...the same one who comfort me to sleep. I glared at the clock, it read 5:02 am. Seven hours had pasted by since I last woken up. I got up from the bed making sure not to make a sound. I glanced back at him before leaving the room, he looked peaceful and defenseless. "It would be nice to be a child again, aru" Innocence begins to fade away and worries stack up like no tomorrow. I'm not sure how long I'll be in charge of the household. Well, that's what I get for being the eldest of the family.

I walked down the quiet hallways towards the kitchen, maybe a cup of herbal tea will clear my mind. After I got my tea I heard a soft grunting sound close by. I followed it outside the backyard and stopped dead on my tracks when I saw him.

He moved carefully, flawless and with force upfront with his kanata. He was concentrating very hard. His eyes moved along with his movements but he had a worried face on.

"Mph...I need to do it soon." he mumbled. "I'll just- Nii-san? How long have you been standing there? Was I too loud?" He was startled.

"Oh no, not at all Kiku. It's just I couldn't sleep. I woke up and heard you, aru." I took another sip of tea. He instantly looked up.

"You too?" I barely heard him. Our eyes meet.

"What do you mean?"

"The reason I'm awake practicing judo is because I had so much on my mind. I need distraction. Since everyone else was still asleep, I came outside. This is the perfect time to get it over with..." "I'm still not sure why _he_ is still here..." He's voice grew cold. It kind of shocked me. It was rare to find him speaking that way. He only used that tone when there was something seriously bothering him...

"Sure, aru." I stood up and gestured him inside the house. It was almost the end of winter here in China, the days grew shorter and colder. It was still dark outside but the moon stood by shining from aside. The wind breezed into the leafless trees. The black catfish in the mini pond moved a bit. My small bamboo field around the fence danced along with the wind. The plum blossoms were still tiny and hidden. The wind had calmed down but it was too cold for me. Wearing thin sleeveless pajamas wasn't helping either.

He agreed to go inside with a small nod. He entered the house without loosing his grip on to his kanata. I looked away and closed the back screen door. We quietly went back to the kitchen. I couldn't help but feel that I shouldn't have left my bedroom. Even if I couldn't sleep I shouldn't have left that room. I don't like where this was going. Why?

I kept sipping on my tea until I was left with an empty cup. I looked back at Kiku. "Would you like some tea? You must be freezing..." I brushed my hand against his cheek, he pushed it away. Annoyance hinted on his face. His face was cold as ice. I wonder how long he was he outside.

"Nii-san. Please stop." He said emotionless. I wasn't sure if I was awake. I took one small step back. His grip was stronger than before.

"I appreciate everything you've done for me. Honestly, _arigato. _But I need my independence."

_It was that time again..._

I grabbed on to the chair. "You're leaving me?" I tried to let it sink in but it wasn't reaching me.

"_Hai._ I feel like I'm being held back with you." He look away.

"...no," I tried to hold it in but it slipped.

"What?" He snapped.

Little did I know that I had a pair of violet eyes spotting me from far as the kanata slashed in front of me.

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><p>China: I don't want to keep remembering this...<p>

Russia: There there, it will all be over soon, da?

China: I-Ivan...

Russia: -hugs-

RN: I feel sorry for Yao...^^;

Russia: You should be. -stares-

RN: OTL. Thanks for the adds and favs and reviews, that makes me write faster~! =3=


	3. Anywhere But Here

A pair of violet eyes came closer towards the kitchen, lights reveled the lil' Russian boy.

"Nyet!" He screamed desperately, shielding me.

Kiku didn't hesitate to continue. I grabbed Ivan away, turning my back towards Kiku. Kiku's first blow knocked me to the ground flat. He dropped his sword as soon as he saw blood and made a run for it, as if the devil were on his tracks. The house echoed with his footsteps outside . I tried to go after him but I couldn't buge.

"Yao-Yao.." Warm tears dropped on my face as Ivan tried to move me.

"Shh...I'm alright, aru."

"No you're not." He dropped his glace.

"I'm fine. Do me a favor. Just forget what you just saw right right, okay?"

"But-"

"Do it for me. Please."

I tried to move but the slightest movement brought me groans of pain. A bit of blood started to taint Ivan's hands and clothing. The floor was still bloodless though. Thank heaven. I didn't want to scare the children once they woken up. I have to clean myself before before they came downstairs. I need to bring Ivan back home. His expression showed he wasn't ready to leave just yet. I can't have a child expose to this, I'll fail as an adult and-

"One the count of three help me to get up," I whispered breathless.

"Nyet. You're in too much pain right now," he whispered back.

"I've been through worse and I have a long day ahead of me. I need to bring you back to your place before-"

"Don't worry about that. They can wait."

"One."

"No."

"Two."

"Stop. Yao...stop it. Now."

"Three." I quickly got up with Ivan's support. He couldn't help himself but to help me in the end. I had to swallow the pain to not worry him as he guided me back to my room.

I felt guilty as he gently brought me over to my bed. His face showing a bit of anger as he brought over a wet cloth from the bathroom. There was a dull light coming from the blood-red hanging lanterns above. I felt closing eyes would bring me into another more pleasant nightmare than this one. Forever in deep sleep. I don't want to open them once more.

Without warning, I felt some scissors snipping through the back of my shirt.

"I-Ivan...what are you doing?"

"It's okay." He sounded so mature.

He snipped through my top as he started to clean my wounds. I felt uneasy but I let him continue. He didn't even bother to ask about my bandages. I always have them off at night when I'm alone but Ivan was staying over tonight. I kept still, faced down on the bed. The room was closed and flooded with silence. I was kind of glad that he didn't shot me with questions. I couldn't help but wince by his touch of my wound.

"D-Did I hurt you?"

"No no, you didn't aru" My voice was muffled by the bed sheets.

After he was finished, he climbed up next to me. I just blinked at him.

"Where did you learned to clean wounds?"

"My sister get into...trouble very often. I am the one who cleans them. So often they themselves hurt that I learned not only to clean wounds but other things too. Sometimes it gets bloody..." he whispered. "Don't stiffen, loosen up your body so your pain can go away faster." He patted my messy hair.

I don't know how but he always manged to calm me down during these type of situations. I can't imagine my life without him, if it weren't for that time I found him alone, with Him.

"Yao-Yao, what's wrong?"

"Ah, nothing. I was just spacing off, sorry."

He kept looking at me as if for searching for something.

"Ivan...you know you'll have to go back home sooner or later, right?"

"B-but I can't leave you like this!"

"Ivan, you do remember what happened last time, do you?"

He nodded.

"I also don't want a child to be exposed to violence right now. I wasn't...expecting 'that' today. To be honest, I felt something wrong from Kiku but I never thought it come to this."

"I'll just keep silent. Your secrets are safe with me Yao-Yao. I don't want to go back home. It's safer here than anywhere else."

"What about your sisters?"

He looked to the side, "Don't you need me?"

"Your sister need you more than I do right now. Yow must protect them."

He looked to the side as I brushed his hair behind his ears.

"...fine, I'll go. For you."

"I'll lead you home."


End file.
